Monday, August 17, 2009

Exciting News...

I know it has been a while since I have posted. A long while. In my last post I asked you to pray for Stellan as he had recently been admitted into the hospital. I'm happy to report that he is recovered and back at home with his family.

And now on to the other exciting news, we are expecting a baby again! Even as I try to type these words, my hands freeze mid-stroke. Some of you know, some of you don't, that we lost our last pregnancy very early on just a few months ago. When I discovered I was pregnant last week I decided that this time I would wait before telling too many people. Sure I phoned my family right away and they were overjoyed with our news, but I felt as if I was holding back. I felt that I couldn't fully embrace the happiness that goes along with such a miracle because there is still such a fresh scar on my heart from the recent loss. "I'll just tell close friends & family" I said, rationalizing. But to do that robs God of the Glory for His miracle. He saw fit to bless us once again with a child. And if He decides to take it away again, that will be His decision and we will accept it. Will we cry? Yes. Will we be angry at God? No. He knows what's best for us and while we don't always understand, we choose to love and obey Him anyway.

So even though at times I catch myself trying to not get "too attached" - I have to just let it all go. I can't live in fear of things that may never happen and I can't put God in a box and tell Him I don't trust that this pregnancy will last. "We walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor 5:7 (Thanks sis for reminding me of that today.)

So we thank God for such a wonderful blessing and pray that this pregnancy is smooth and complication-free. We can't wait to meet the next member of our family and see the unique personality that God gave him/her. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13